


One of These Days

by rose_malmaison



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Pre-Slash, Ten Years Later, ncis core 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-20
Updated: 2014-01-20
Packaged: 2018-01-09 08:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1143971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_malmaison/pseuds/rose_malmaison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the end of the summer in 2024 and a retired Gibbs is hosting a cookout at his house. There is something going on and Gibbs can't figure out what it is. Friendships are tested, relationships shift and they say things they've kept to themselves for years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One of These Days

**Author's Note:**

> Pairings: Abby/Tony, Gibbs/Tony  
> Characters: Tony, Jethro, Abby, Ducky  
> Genre: Ten years on, angst, core 4, friendship, pre-slash  
> Rating: FRT  
> Warning: death of a major character (not one of the four)  
> Spoilers: Including season 11
> 
> For: ncis-discuss dot livejournal dot com  
> Challenge: The Core 4
> 
> Thanks to combatcrazy for a last-minute beta. Comments are always appreciated.

ONE OF THESE DAYS

One of these days you're gonna love me  
You'll sit down by yourself and think  
Of all the times you pushed and shoved me  
And what good friends we might have been  
And then you're gonna sigh a little  
And maybe even cry a little  
But one of these days you're gonna love me

~ Tim McGraw

 

Gibbs opened his front door to find Abby standing there, dressed in black shorts and tee, juggling two covered bowls and an oversized handbag adorned with rhinestones in the shape of a skull. She managed to hug him while chanting, "Gibbs! Gibbs, Gibbs! I know I'm early but I couldn’t wait."

Gibbs relieved Abby of one of the bowls – it looked like cole slaw with melon slices – before she dropped it. "Hey, Abs. Glad you could make it."

"It's about time you threw a party! I missed you. I hate not seeing you at work every day."

Abby came in, talking animatedly about whatever she had been up to recently but Gibbs could see that there was something going on beneath the bright exterior. This wasn't the time to ask her what was troubling her, so instead he led the way through the kitchen to the patio. "Come on out back. I gotta check on the grill."

Gibbs' back yard was more patio and ground cover than grass, which suited him because he hated mowing lawns. He'd arranged four chairs around the table on the deck, and had raised the umbrella for Abby's sake even though the trees provided ample protection against the late summer sun. "Help yourself to lemonade," Gibbs said, indicating the pitcher and glasses he'd set out for his guests.

Abby put the food she'd brought on the table, set her bag on one of the chairs, and poured herself a tall glass of iced lemonade. "Mmm, good. Fresh-squeezed?"

"Yeah, by someone in California," Gibbs joked. He was glad to see that he was able to bring out a genuine smile on Abby's face.

After checking that the grill was about ready, Gibbs settled next to Abby. She handed him a glass of lemonade and asked belatedly, "Or do you want a beer?"

"I'll wait 'til the steaks are on," Gibbs replied, raising his glass to her. "Cheers."

"Cheers to you, too. I'm so happy you invited me, Gibbs. Boy, I thought I'd never get out of work today, I was so backed up with cases. Sometimes it feels like there's no end to it. As soon as I get the table clear and another set of evidence is brought in. I had to get an assistant who, thank goodness, is not some crazy-head like Chip, and believe me, I checked him out." Abby pulled a face and said, "I even learned to delegate. Imagine _me_ , trusting my lab and my babies to someone else. I must be getting soft in my old age."

Looking at Abby in her shorts and simple black t-shirt, Gibbs shook his head. "You look just the same as you did when you first started at NCIS. Less spikes though." Her belt looked like a chain link fence, and her sandals might have been pink latex, but otherwise her attire was pretty subdued.

She leaned over and hugged him, saying, "Aw, that's so sweet and _so_ not the truth. Except it's safer hugging without the spikes."

There were gray streaks in Abby's dark hair. She wore it loose and it framed her face and curled a little where it touched her shoulders. It was hard to believe, but her fiftieth birthday was coming up soon. Carefully avoiding thinking about how old that made _him_ , Gibbs said fondly, "You're looking good, Abs." She did, too. The years had been kind to her and you'd never imagine she was the mother of an eight-year-old boy, who divided her time between her stressful job and taking care of her family.

Gibbs had always been a part of Abby's life and now he was a part of Evan's, too. He was afraid to admit how much he loved the boy, who had a curious nature and astounding musical talent. Abby believed that Evan was going to stick with the violin now he had tried almost every instrument in the orchestra, but Gibbs had seen the way Evan got lost in the music when he played the piano.

"How's the kid doing?"

As usual, Abby lit up when the subject turned to her child. "He's great. He did _not_ stop talking about the science museum for days after you took him there.

Gibbs chuckled. "You shoulda seen the way the kid's eyes widened when I told him he could get inside the space capsule."

Abby squeezed Gibbs' hand. "You're so good with him and he loves you."

Eight's a good age, Gibbs thought. Earlier that summer, he had taught Evan how to dive off the dock at the lake near his cabin. Gibbs had even spent a rainy Sunday afternoon at the movies with Evan, watching the latest kid-flick followed by an early dinner out. Even though Abby was strictly vegetarian, Evan was not. Predictably, the boy had ordered pizza with sausage, pepperoni and extra cheese.

Abby sipped her drink and looked sideways at Gibbs. "How was your sailing trip? Getting used to retirement yet?"

It was a ritual of theirs, Abby asking if he was enjoying a more relaxed lifestyle while knowing he was having difficulty acclimating to having so much time on his hands.

"Weather stayed good and my new joints got a workout," Gibbs allowed.

«•»«•»«•»

He'd spent almost two weeks navigating the Chesapeake in his 40-foot Amigo sloop, enjoying a kind of solitary freedom he'd rarely had before. Except, at some point being alone out on the water had changed to being lonely and he'd headed home. The loneliness persisted once Gibbs was back in his own house, and he found himself yearning for something that he couldn’t have any longer – his life as an agent. He missed the investigations, the excitement, the danger, and the high he got when they brought a criminal to justice. Nothing could match the feeling of satisfaction when he'd broken a suspect during an interrogation.

Gibbs missed his team, too, but most of all he missed Tony. For so many years he'd taken his second-in-command's presence for granted but now…now he was lucky to share a beer and steak with him on the rare occasion when Tony had a free evening. And when they did get together, it was as if nothing had changed.

Gibbs never would have taken retirement as a field agent if he hadn't been sidelined by injuries. He'd needed surgery on his shoulder after a bullet had shattered the bone and as soon as he'd recovered, debilitating pain had forced him to have a much-delayed knee replacement. Even though the two surgeries had been relatively successful, they'd taken their toll and he'd been unable to pass the NCIS physical. That had been a damned hard blow. Sitting at a desk was not an option so Gibbs had neatly avoided the party the brass had thrown in his honor and instead took his team out for drinks.

At least the director had listened to his recommendations and had promoted DiNozzo to team leader, and had given McGee the choice of his own team in another city where there was an immediate opening. Instead of leaving, McGee had decided to stick with DiNozzo, Dornegat and Bishop for the time being. "Just until something opens up in DC," was what McGee had said.

That was over a year ago.

«•»«•»«•»

Since he'd retired, Gibbs had spent a lot of time working on his boat. This was probably going to be the last boat he'd ever build in his basement. At least she had made it into the water. But boredom was starting to settle in and he needed something new to work on. So far he hadn't decided which direction to go in.

Consulting for NCIS was an option even though Fornell had told him he was crazy when Gibbs talked to him about it. "For God's sake, Jethro, act your age. Embrace your retirement years."

"Might take up teaching at FLETC," Gibbs said casually to Abby, just to see what she thought about it.

Abby smirked at him over her glass of lemonade. "We took bets, you know, on how long you'd hold out before you got back in the game, Gibbs."

He'd figured as much. "Oh yeah? Who won?"

"Nobody yet. Have to wait for you to actually take a job, not just talk about it." Abby leaned back and inhaled deeply. "Ah, this is a nice way to wind up the summer. It's been ages since we relaxed and had a cookout. And when's the last time we saw each other, anyhow?"

"We see each other every couple of weeks," Gibbs pointed out.

Abby rolled her eyes. "I mean _really_ see each other, not just to say _hi_ when I'm heading out my front door and you're picking up Evan."

She was right. It had been far too long since the four of them had got together. "Where is Evan today?"

"At Breena and Jimmy's. She's pretty brave, taking her four kids and mine to the mall. Evan's sleeping over at their house, which he's thrilled about because he loves playing with her boys." Abby said with a smile, "It'll be good to see Ducky. I haven't seen him in a while. It seems like he's always traveling, lecturing on forensics or heading off on a wine-tasting trip." Her expression turned sad and she clasped Gibbs' hand. "Only…I wish that Timmy was still here. I wish…"

"Yeah, me too," was all Gibbs could say. It had been only a few months and the sense of loss was still very strong. "You okay?" he asked because he had to say something.

Abby nodded. She released his hand and started fussing with the plates and utensils, laying them out for four people with unnecessary precision. Suddenly she stopped, a fork in her raised hand, her gaze a thousand miles away. "Delilah said that he was just sitting there in the garage. The car still running with the music on. They were going away for a romantic weekend and he'd promised to be home early."

Gibbs knew all this. He had kept up with what was going on at NCIS, and what his team was up to, as did Ducky. The former ME had shown him the report that confirmed that McGee had died of natural causes, an aneurism.

Abby turned to Gibbs, unshed tears brightening her eyes. "Did you know that the week before he died, Tim had these really bad dreams about getting shot on the job, so he wore his vest every time he went out of the building? Tony teased him mercilessly, called him McKevlar and McIronMan6, and now he feels so bad about it and wishes he hadn't been so…so _Tony_."

"Tim understood where Tony was coming from. If there wasn't teasing, it would mean there was something wrong." Gibbs put an arm around Abby's shoulder and kissed her temple when she leaned into him. "Tim knew that Tony cared. We all care. That's what makes us family. That's what counts."

"It was hard enough dealing with losing Tim without seeing Tony going through a meltdown every time someone mentioned Tim's name," Abby said in a strained voice. "Tony didn't want me to see that he was crying so he hid out in the basement and sanded wood until his fingers were raw. He pretended his eyes were watering from the sawdust." Abby smiled wanly at Gibbs. "He reminds me of you, with your boat, only Tony makes guitars, which is good because our basement is really small and we don't have room for a boat because the washer and dryer take up half the space. I remember the first one he made, when Evan was getting his tonsils out. It looked good but the tone was off. Not that Evan cared. He loved that guitar because Daddy made it for him." She paused and then added, "Tony says working with the wood is his way of sorting out his thoughts."

"Yeah, I know all about _that_ , Abs. I'm glad he's got that outlet." Gibbs remembered all the hours Tony had watched him working on one project or another over the years. Tony had been there through the creation of several boats, and Mike's casket, and then furniture and, once again, a sailboat. At some point Gibbs had looked up from sanding a hull to find Tony working by his side, following his every movement. From then on Tony had no longer been an observer. "I'm glad my teaching paid off," said Gibbs. He'd seen Tony's guitars, beautiful instruments that created rich melodies when plied by skilled fingers.

"You're the _best_ teacher, Gibbs," said Abby. She pushed back her hair as if she were also pushing away the sadness of losing Tim, and took a deep breath. Raising her empty glass, Abby suggested, "I think maybe it's time to drink something stronger, don't you?"

"Sure thing," Gibbs agreed. "You know I'm proud of you, Abby."

She bit her lip and looked away but he could see the tears in her eyes. It was Abby who had spoken so eloquently at Tim's funeral, and she was the one who had held it all together throughout a difficult time, better than the rest of them. He shouldn't have been surprised because she was one of the most resilient people he knew. Abby said that she had to be strong for the sake of her son, who didn't understand why Uncle Tim had gone away. "Evan…he's my whole world, Gibbs."

He was Tony's world, too. It showed when you saw them together. Tony spent all his free time – which wasn't a lot – with Evan, and he always made sure that their time together counted. "I tell you this, Gibbs, I will _never_ be like my father, promising something and not following through." Tony had mentioned that he was going to cut back his hours at work, but they both knew that being the team leader was more than a full-time job.

So, with Abby and Tony's blessing, Gibbs took Evan out on excursions, taught him how to fish and how to box, how to avoid conflict or to defend himself if needed, how to follow a trail in the woods and how to salute properly. Abby had shown her son how to be creative and enjoy life and Tony had introduced him to the wonders of the Marx Brothers and _Magnum P.I_. And Ducky, he'd shown Evan how to pull a coin out of someone's ear and he was the one who explained that when someone close dies, it's okay to still enjoy yourself.

They stood side-by-side, beers in hand, while Gibbs checked the grill. "If they don't come soon, we'll start without them," he threatened.

Abby asked cautiously, "Is he coming?"

She meant Tony, which left Gibbs wondering why she didn't know what her own spouse was up to. "He sent me one of those twixt message things a couple of hours ago. Said he was coming," Gibbs assured her. Still, there was a tension about Abby's mouth that seemed out of place and she looked positively guilty. "What's going on? Is Tony okay?"

"Promise you won't get mad?"

Gibbs' stomach tensed. "I won't get mad." If he did, he'd keep it to himself.

Abby looked into Gibbs' eyes for a long moment and then nodded. "I'm not supposed to tell you this. He said he'd talk to you himself." She hesitated before launching into an explanation. "Tony ended up in the hospital yesterday. He chased a suspect out a second-floor window and ended up getting sort of banged up and he was released last night and was supposed to be resting today. I called from work but he hasn't answered his phone, and you know Tony never follows doctor's orders, but if he sent you a twixt then he must be okay, right?"

"Damn it, Abby! Why didn't you call me?"

"Because he asked me _not_ to," she said, raising her voice right back at him.

"Why the hell not? I could have…" God knows what he _could_ have done other than pace the hospital corridor and sit next to Abby for short periods, offering a shoulder to lean on. He hated not being in the loop. He hated it when any of his people was hurt – when _Tony_ was hurt.

"Look, I'll call him again," Abby said to placate Gibbs, but it was soon obvious that Tony wasn't picking up.

Gibbs was about to question Abby about the severity of Tony's injuries when he heard Ducky's '64 Morgan sputter and cough as it pulled up in front of the house. He went out to greet his old friend and noticed that the car had a dent on the rear mudguard. The classic car looked like it needed a bit of TLC.

Ducky came up the front walk, a carrier bag in hand. "Additional libation," he explained, and then launched into a story as to how his beloved car had sustained damage. "…a runaway shopping cart, a dear woman carrying a very small poodle and…"

Gibbs tried not to show his concern at Ducky's slow pace. The former ME was leaning heavily on a cane, which was new since the last time they had seen each other. Gibbs didn't remark on it – after all, Ducky was eighty-four – but he deftly took the heavy looking carrier bag out of Ducky's hand.

As they stepped inside, Ducky suddenly changed the direction of his conversation. "Have I told you that I have booked a tour of wineries in Spain? I am looking forward to tasting Vinos de Castilla, a beautiful wine rivaled only by the region's beautiful women," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

Once in the kitchen, Gibbs pulled the wine from the bag. The labels were in French and looked unpretentious. Probably expensive. True to form, Ducky started in on a tale about his exploits in France when he and Gibbs were on an assignment, although he lost his train of thought as soon as Abby came in and threw her arms around him.

"Ducky!"

"You look lovely, my dear. I was just reminiscing with Jethro about our swift retreat across the English Channel in a rather leaky sailboat that Director Shepard procured – although this was long before she was a director, of course."

"I'd loved to have been there," Abby said, linking her arm in Ducky's.

They went out onto the patio and Gibbs asked her, "You get hold of Tony?"

Abby rolled her eyes a bit. "He says he'd turned his cell off and only just remembered to turn it back on. He'll be here soon."

That only slightly mollified Gibbs, who needed to see Tony with his own eyes in order to be assured that he hadn't been injured too badly. If the hospital had released him so quickly last night then surely that was a good sign. Except Tony still had a bad habit of signing himself out early.

"Ah, how splendid," Ducky exclaimed as they all sat down with snacks and drinks in front of them. "The four of us together, good friends enjoying good food. As soon as Anthony arrives, of course. How is the dear boy doing, by the way, Abigail?"

"Working hard. Best closure rate since Gibbs' team," Abby said proudly. Gibbs noticed she didn't mention that Tony had been hurt. "Ooh, I have new photos of Evan!" Abby brought out photos to show Ducky and they chatted, bringing each other up to speed about what had been going on in their lives – Abby about family and work and Ducky about his travels.

Needing something to do while waiting for Tony's arrival, Gibbs went into the kitchen and pulled more beer and a pasta salad he'd made out of the fridge. The low roar of his Mustang announced Tony's arrival as he pulled into the driveway. Gibbs could see through the kitchen window that Tony was easing himself out of his car with the kind of caution that clearly showed he was still hurting. "Damn it, Tony," Gibbs muttered.

Tony leaned back in and pulled out a large foil-covered dish. He stood there for a long moment, looking towards the house, and Gibbs got the impression that Tony was preparing himself for something unpleasant.

Tony seemed startled when Gibbs opened the front door but he quickly broke out in a wide smile. Unlike Abby, who was pale and wearing black, Tony looked tanned and summery in a white polo and tan shorts. He looked so damned good – so attractive with the hair at his temples going gray and laugh lines at the corners of his eyes that really were from laughing – that Gibbs was immediately turned on. He found himself staring at Tony as if he'd never really seen him before. Unable to come up with anything adequate to say, Gibbs blurted, "Where the hell have you been?"

Tony smelled good, of aftershave and, of all things, Gibbs picked up the faint aroma of pinewood. Something happened that had never occurred before – right out of the blue, Gibbs got a boner in response to Tony's presence. Embarassed, and glad that he was wearing loose slacks that hid his burgeoning erection, Gibbs moved out of the way so Tony could pass.

Ignoring Gibbs' brusque greeting, Tony said brightly, "Better be careful or folks might think you don't like having company over." Without waiting for a response, he moved past Gibbs to the kitchen and said, "I picked up this lasagna from that Italian place down on the corner so it should be good. I've got beer in the car if we need more but I figured I'd wait to see if you were well stocked. What was I thinking? You're Gibbs, so you're always prepared, right? So are the others here?"

Gibbs had never been so bowled over by Tony's presence before, and even though he'd been attracted to the man for a long time, he'd kept his feelings to himself. Their working relationship had meant too much to him to risk ruining it by admitting how he felt for Tony. He'd thought about letting Tony know, one of these days, but there had never been a right time. And then so much time had passed and he'd grown old – yes, he was in his late sixties and Gibbs considered that old, even if he was in pretty good shape – and so he'd settled for friendship.

Eventually Gibbs found his voice. "Abby and Ducky are out back. You want a drink? Mixers are over there and there's beer if you don't want to sample Ducky's wine." Gibbs realized that he was treating Tony like a guest and he wondered when that started. He hadn't seen Tony for a while, maybe a month, and although Tony was all smiles, he looked tired, especially around the eyes. Gibbs found himself looking Tony over with a critical eye as if he could see the bruises he knew had to be there, under his casual clothes.

"Something wrong?" asks Tony.

"Just checking," says Gibbs, not elaborating.

But Tony knew what Gibbs was up to. "Oh, Abby told you. Is this the old Gibbs' x-ray vision?" he asked lightly. He touched his ribs self-consciously and then quickly dropped his hand. "It was nothing. I'm fine, really."

Gibbs found himself doing something he hadn't done in a very long time: he glared at Tony and slapped the back of his head.

"Ow!" Tony raised one hand to the back of his head and smoothed down his hair. He looked pissed.

Gibbs growled, "You call falling two stories and almost breaking your back _nothing_?"  
  
Tony stared at Gibbs' face for a long moment as if fascinated, and then he huffed out a laugh. "I didn't _fall_ , Boss. I jumped after the asshole that thought it was a good escape route. Believe me, I won't be doing anything like that again for a very long time." Then Tony narrowed his eyes at Gibbs, who was still glowering at him, and said in a low voice, "Look, if you don't want me here, I can just turn around and –"

"No."

"No?" Tony repeated, looking crestfallen.

"I mean, you _stay_." Gibbs jerked his chin towards the patio. They could hear voices. Abby was laughing and it sounded good to his ears. "What's going on between you two?" He almost didn't want to know; he recognized the all-too familiar signs of a marriage in trouble and even if his two favorite people in the world had never actually tied the knot, they were a couple, a couple who'd been together for nine years and had had a child together.

Tony looked uncomfortable. "We agreed to make some changes."

"You splitting up?" He couldn’t say the word divorce

Shifting from one foot to the other, Tony managed to appear both guilty and defiant. "I asked Abby not to say anything until I got here. I wanted to tell you myself. What exactly has she said?"

"Nothing. I got a feeling."

"Ah. Feelings. They'll get you every time."

Gibbs grunted as if he understood any of it, which he didn't. How could they separate when they had a child in common? Yet he knew Tony well enough to know he would have fought to make it work, and the same went for Abby. Gibbs didn't have any idea what was at the root of their trouble, but something had changed between them. He wished he could say the right words, could fix it, but he was the last person to give advice.

"You should have told me that you were hurt," Gibbs insisted. He sounded angry so he wasn't surprised when Tony stiffened.

There was glint of anger in Tony's eyes. "I hate to tell you this, Gibbs, but I don't have to answer to you. You're not my boss any more."

God, he wished he was, or that he was something more to Tony. It was too late though, too late for a lot of things. "No, I'm not." Gibbs stepped close to Tony. "Just the same, I think I deserve better. You should have told me," he said again.

That time Tony faltered and gave in. "Look, I just…I didn't want you to feel obligated–"

"Obligated?" Now he was really angry. "When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours that I give a damn about you, Tony. And I care about Abby and Evan, and if anything were to happen to any of you…"

Right on cue, Ducky appeared in the doorway. He looked from one to the other, his expression bland, but Gibbs wasn't fooled. Ducky said, "I believe that we are ready for the steaks, Jethro. Good to see you up and around, Anthony."

Gibbs grabbed the steaks and marched outside to cool down. He spent the next several minutes at the grill while his guests served up food and talked among themselves. He didn't have to look at them to feel the tension. Once they were all seated and eating, things eased up a bit and they ended up having some laughs.

Gibbs watched Abby and Tony surreptitiously but could see not outward signs of animosity between the two of them. For a couple on the brink of breaking up they were unusually friendly with each other. She laid her hand on his arm, laughing, and he poured her a drink when her glass was empty. Gibbs looked over at Ducky at one point to find that his old friend was watching him, a slightly puzzled expression on his face.  Not about to ask what Ducky was thinking, Gibbs complimented him on the wine and that started Ducky relating a story that had them all laughing in no time.

At first it appeared that Tony wasn't too badly injured, from the way he moved. But as they finished their meal and then dessert, Gibbs noticed the way Tony was holding himself stiffly, and at one point he caught him wincing when he shifted position in his seat. Gibbs was about to say something when Tony rose, excused himself, and headed for the bathroom. A few minutes later he returned, and soon after that he was joking and smiling over another glass of wine.

In the middle of a conversation about an old investigation, Tony suddenly stood up and said, "Um…not feeling too good. I'm gonna…" He made a motion towards the house and turned halfway and then collapsed on the patio.

"Tony! Tony!" cried Abby, who was immediately out of her seat and cradling Tony's head in her lap. Ducky was right on the spot, checking Tony out. Yes, he was out cold, his pulse was rapid, and no, he didn't appear to have hit his head. Gibbs was pulling out his phone to call an ambulance when Tony's eyelids fluttered and he awakened with a groan. They quarreled about whether or not to call 911 and in the end conceded that if they could get Tony to the couch inside without incident, they might not need to make that call.

Gibbs supported most of Tony's weight and lowered him to the couch in the living room. Tony looked pale and sweaty and Abby emptied a small trashcan of paper and placed it within reach.

Tony said, "I'm 'kay. Okay."

"You don't look it," Gibbs retorted, seriously worried. Ducky agreed with him and said so.

"I took some pain meds, okay?" said Tony, slurring his words slightly.

Ducky frowned. "Ah, so washing them down with a 2020 Cabernet Sauvignon is what your doctor ordered, is it?"

Tony covered his face with his forearm and said weakly, "Can you jus' leave me 'lone? Please?"

Abby leaned over Tony and brushed his hair back. She said something in a low tone to him and he nodded, his breath hitching a little.

Abby took Ducky's arm and they went out to the kitchen. Gibbs wasn't leaving until he got to the bottom of whatever was going on so he pulled up a chair.

After a while, Tony lowered his arm and looked around. "They gone?"

"Kitchen. What's going on with you, Tony?" Gibbs asked, trying to be patient.

Tony shrugged and looked away. There was the sound of dishes being washed and after a bit the back door opened and closed. Gibbs waited in silence.

Eventually Tony heaved a sigh and turned his head to meet Gibbs' eyes. "It…it was Tim. He'd been having problems with his wife and they somehow managed to turn it around and they were going off on this weekend I helped arrange for them and…" He swallowed hard and said, "All these years I've put things off, kept thinking I'll do it tomorrow, or it can wait. You know how that goes?"

"Yeah. No point in having regrets. Deal with whatever the problem is, Tony." He was one to talk but it looked like Tony was seeking advice so that's what he was getting. Tony's color had improved and his speech wasn't so slurred so when Ducky poked his head in, Gibbs indicated Tony was okay and Ducky retreated again.

"Abby and me, we're separating," Tony admitted.

Even though Gibbs wasn't surprised, the announcement still struck him hard. He knew all about the emotional roller coaster of divorce, the guilt warring with relief, the sense of failure that never quite went away, the difficulty in picking up the pieces. And Tony and Abby, they had a child, one that was old enough to understand what was going on, yet too young to understand fully.

Gibbs was torn between wanting to say something supportive and the desire to get Abby in here so he could knock some sense into the pair of them. He said, angrily, "What about Evan?"

Tony looked at him with despair in his eyes. "He knows, Gibbs. He's a smart kid. This has been coming for a while."

"You've been living apart," Gibbs said, making it a statement.

Tony nodded. "For months now, since before Tim. I kept my condo because it's close to work. The people who'd been renting it moved out at the beginning of the year and I would sleep there a couple of nights a week and then I stayed over another night and another and…"

"This isn't about housing, Tony."

Tony struggled to sit up and Gibbs didn't help him. Tony was panting a bit but he didn't look like he was going to pass out again. "You think I don't know what this is about? You think this isn't tearing my heart out? You know what Evan asked me? He asked me why people had to go away and I thought he meant Tim. That's how stupid I am. He thinks it's his fault…Oh shit." Tony held his head in his hands. "I'm worse than him."

"Than who?"

Tony raised his head and said, his voice rough, "Worse than my father. I swore…I fucking _swore_."

Gibbs got in Tony's face. "Then deal with the problem, fix whatever's wrong. Talk to Abby, work it out!"

Tony let out a huff of a laugh. "You don't understand."

"Then make me understand." Gibbs moved so he was sitting right next to Tony on the couch. "Talk to me, Tony."

Tony elbowed Gibbs but not very hard. "No, you don't…you don't _get_ it, Jethro."

"Tell me! What's so important to you that it's worth hurting your own son?"

"You don't..."

Gibbs badgered, "Tell me, explain this to me."

Tony turned on him, shouting, "There's someone else, okay? Okay?" Then in a defeated tone, he said, "I've been in love with someone else for years. Abby knows about it and–"

"You selfish bastard," Gibbs said, rising to his feet.

Tony rose at the same time though he swayed a little. "Yeah, you're right, Gibbs. I should never had said anything."

How could Tony do this? Cheating on Abby, on his own child, on all of them? Gibbs' heart hurt at the thought that Tony had been living a lie all these years, that maybe after all, he didn't know him.

Abby hurried into the room, worriedly looking from one man to the other. "That is so not fair, Gibbs! You cannot say that to him. Tony has stuck with me for nine years, nine _years_ when he should have been with someone else."

"Abby, don't," warned Tony tiredly. "Please don't."

Tears were streaming down Abby's face but she didn't seem to notice. "He never asked, Gibbs. He never asked for _anything_. He took care of me when I needed him. He was _there_. And I knew the whole time, but I didn't want to let him go, so who's the selfish one?" She turned to Tony and said fiercely, "We talked about this, Tony, and you agreed to tell him." To Gibbs she said, pleading, "Listen, Gibbs, with your heart. Do this for me. For Tony, too, because he really needs you now."

"Abs…" How could he say no to her?

She looked at Gibbs intently until she was sure, and then kissed him on the cheek. "Ducky and I are leaving now. If you need a ride, Tony, call me." Tony shook his head and she kissed him, too, with a finality that scared Gibbs.

Ducky joined them and handed Abby her bag. He eyed each of them, taking in the scene, but instead of a lecture or even some wise words – which Gibbs could have done with right about then – Ducky simply thanked Gibbs for the meal. They shook hands, something they rarely did, but it was comforting so Gibbs was glad of it.

Ducky said, "Please remember that Anthony has been through the ringer, so no physical confrontation – from either of you. I will visit you in the morning, Tony, and we can discuss a suitable pain relief regimen. If you need me before then, telephone me. Don't bother with that twixting thing because I do not do that. Good evening, Jethro, Tony."

Left alone, Gibbs and Tony sat on the couch, Tony slowly lowering himself. It was obvious he was feeling some pain from his fall. Gibbs stubbornly refused to offer Tony a heating pad, thinking that Tony deserved some pain and then immediately regretting thinking such a thing.

They sat there for a while, at opposite ends of the couch, with the room growing darker as the daylight waned. Gibbs leaned over and switched on a lamp on the end table and when he turned back to Tony, he found that Tony had moved closer to him.

Tony said, slowly and evenly, as if the matter held a great weight, "I kept thinking, one of these days… _one of these days_ , I'll tell him. But I never did. I thought it was for the best, keeping my mouth shut, but now I can't…I can't _not_ say something, even if it ruins our friendship. I keep wanting to say I'm sorry, Jethro, but I'm not. I'm not at all because knowing you, working with you, simply being _with_ you, has been the best thing in my life. My son, he's the best thing, too, but a different best thing, like the way Abby is the best thing, too…Does any of this make any sense to you?"

Gibbs considered himself a pretty perceptive man, and he was observant and a good judge of character, but hearing Tony's confession – if he understood what it was that he was, and _wasn't_ saying – took him by utter surprise. Looking into Tony's eyes, seeing the fear of rejection, the turmoil, and the love that emanated from them, released something in Gibbs. It was one of those moments in your life when you realize how stupid you've been, how much time you've wasted and how this, this unspoken and never-acknowledged _thing_ they had between them was something precious. Something that absolutely should not be wasted. "Yeah."

Tony raised his eyebrows, expecting more.

Gibbs cleared his throat and got out, "I get the feeling we're both idiots."

Surprisingly, Tony smiled and that smile grew wide and he actually laughed, holding his side as if it pained him. "Is that your way of telling me that you…?"

Being better with action than words, Gibbs moved closer and after a moment of hesitation, he took Tony in his arms. He didn't try to kiss him, just held him until he felt the tension ease from Tony's body. "I don't understand this, or how the hell we got to this point, but I damned well know that I feel the same way, Tony." He could feel Tony's hot breath on his neck, the roughness of his jaw scraping against him, and he felt Tony tremble in his arms. "Tony," Gibbs whispered. "What are we going to do? I can't…I _can't_."

Tony leaned back, still in the circle of Gibbs' arms. "Abby, she has this idea that we can make this work. All of us."

"She does, huh?"

Tony nodded seriously. "Abby says there's this tribe in the Amazon that shares partners of both sexes, in case anything happens to one of them out on the hunt; there's always someone there to step in."

More than a little appalled at what he thought Tony was suggesting, Gibbs stared at Tony. He could feel his cheeks getting hot and his dick was reacting to Tony's proximity.

Tony snorted. "Oh, I can see what you're thinking, but that's not what I mean. See, Abby thinks we can be an extended family, and me being with you doesn’t mean I don’t still love her, or stop me from being Evan's dad. It just means we're there for each other."

Gibbs thought about that for a minute and slowly nodded. "I love you like nobody's business and I guess that now it's out in the open, there's no way to go but forward."

"You think we can make it work then?"

Gibbs smiled a little nervously, wondering what the hell he was committing himself to. "It looks like we'll have to."

"Yeah." Tony's smile was back. "Yeah. Nobody's business, huh?"

"You gonna make a big thing of this?" Gibbs growled. Tony grinned and Gibbs knew he was in for it. "You wanna go sailing sometime?" he suggested. "Maybe bring Abby and Evan?"

"I think that's a good place to begin," Tony replied, hope alight in his eyes. "Only, Jethro?"

"Mmm?"

"You think I could maybe kiss you now? Because I've been waiting so long for this, and I knew it would never happen but I still thought about you – a lot – especially recently."

"Yeah, I think maybe we can do that." Gibbs slowly drew Tony closer, and they angled their heads a little, mouths meeting for the first time. Tony's lips were soft and a bit dry and tasted of Ducky's expensive wine, and like that wine, kissing Tony was rather heady. Their kiss deepened and Tony let out a small sound of relief and parted his lips, and somewhere in the back of his mind, as he was swept away by Tony's enduring love, Gibbs realized that this… _this_ was one of those days.

«•»«•»«•» end «•»«•»«•»

 


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